I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
