am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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