Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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