Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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