By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As shirtless as possible
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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