I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize
