she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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