you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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