Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize