I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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