can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize