four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
