Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
