He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize