hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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