Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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