So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
