She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
