The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
