if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
