I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
