ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
