I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
