evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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