Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
