sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
