is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."