After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma