Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm not a mortal combat character

  (410): View more from Maryland

  but my vagina is

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  (860): I'm not a mortal combat character (410): but my vagina is http://tfl.nu/01am
  Replies (16) Good night (1422) Bad night (539)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies

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  (860): yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her (860): but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!" (860): but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies http://tfl.nu/084i
  Replies (42) Good night (2653) Bad night (1004)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

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  (440): oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill? http://tfl.nu/149i
  Replies (85) Good night (991) Bad night (7413)
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  (353): View more from

  When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head

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  (353): When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head http://tfl.nu/g0x9
  Replies (14) Good night (1711) Bad night (3154)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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  (508): I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day http://tfl.nu/qyf0
  Replies (30) Good night (3869) Bad night (1013)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

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  (314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/1wrs
  Replies (50) Good night (2223) Bad night (9408)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  stop writing like that.

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  (410): hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;) (1-410): stop writing like that. http://tfl.nu/yu8k
  Replies (25) Good night (6770) Bad night (1299)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

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  (281): I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! http://tfl.nu/gg3p
  Replies (51) Good night (5227) Bad night (929)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity

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  (403): There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity http://tfl.nu/85sl
  Replies (9) Good night (3868) Bad night (1346)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

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  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (915) Bad night (3260)
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  (315): View more from New York

  JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

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  (315): JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room... http://tfl.nu/oonq
  Replies (5) Good night (3731) Bad night (763)
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  (235): View more from

  Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.

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  (235): Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants. http://tfl.nu/kei7
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (280)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!

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  (608): Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know! http://tfl.nu/hgdr
  Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (777)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.

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  (615): Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud. http://tfl.nu/i1my
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (499)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.

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  (313): I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way. http://tfl.nu/m2c2
  Replies (4) Good night (872) Bad night (212)

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