They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.