Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK