Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
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She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
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I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?