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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.

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• (209): View more from California

  Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (916): View more from California

  Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma

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