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were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
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