and you said cock pushups were impossible
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
