i think my tv is drunk
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
