I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
