totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize