you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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