i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
