i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
