I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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