At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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