I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
