I'm going to jail i love you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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