Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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