I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Are we still banned from the library?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
