Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
