He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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