R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
