end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
