I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
