Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
