I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize