Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
