He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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