after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
