He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
