I faked an abortion last night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
