I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
