No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize